The start of the NFL season means just one thing… Never Bet the Farm2 is finally here!
Okay, maybe this means more than one thing to other people who don’t know what’s good.
We all know what you were really needing…
What you were really itching for?
What you couldn’t live without anymore?
It’s okay to admit it.
It’s Me!
I missed myself too.
That’s why Momma was right when she told me it’s time to get back on the wagon.
So, I’ll get right into it.
You’ve waited long enough.
Other sheep might delay these picks with a long-winded recap of last year’s “plays,” but I quit school because of recess. Time to put in the work this year.
Mr. Yours Truly, Mr. SportsKnowItAll, is going with a sure-shot, four-game parlay in the NFL.
Here’s my ‘never bet the farm2’ action for Week 1:
Carolina Panthers -4.5 vs New York Jets
Tennesse Titans -3 vs Arizona Cardinals
Seattle Seahawks -3 @ Indianapolis Colts
Minnesota Vikings -3.5 @ Cincinnati Bengals
My nifty bet builder lets me know my small $10 investment should be a smooth $130.79 back in my pocket. Badda-bing, badda-boom.
EASY MONEY!
Speaking of easy money…
Who wants to buy NFTs of my parlay bets?
I just watched some online marketer waste several hundred thousand on a JPEG of a cyberpunk character smoking a cigarette.
If people have that much money to get rid of currently, may I introduce you to my Nigerian friend who is looking for a reliable and trustworthy person to help transfer funds to America?
Sportsbetting NFTs can’t be that far around the corner.
And I’ll be damned if I miss out on monetizing from those little slips of paper that I’ve been carrying around in my pockets since I was a kid and my dad started stashing his losers with me to hide them from my mom.
I got really good at making little paper airplanes.
I digress though.
Go forth and enjoy the start of the NFL season.
Just remember all you wannabes…
Don’t bet any more than you’re willing to lose, and never bet the farm2.
