The drummer for Phish, Jon Fishman, put it best as he walked up to the microphone in his dress.
“So, how did I get here?” he laughed to the cheers of the crowd.
Or at least that’s how I remember it… I think?
Regardless, it’s an important question to answer as I embark on this hopeless journey – teaching my girlfriend sports. It all started that fateful day when I realized how little my girlfriend knew about sports…
As I remember it, I was brilliantly explaining something with the perfect amount of pop-culture and sports references. I’m sure my linguistic talents were falling upon deaf (sports-figuratively speaking) ears, but then my girlfriend asked a question to my surprise… That shock was quickly overshadowed by her question.
“Was George Foreman a boxer?”
“Ummm… Yeah… What did you think he did before he sold the lean, mean fat-grilling machine?
“I don’t know… I thought he was like a celebrity chef or something.”
WTF?
I know… I know…
Don’t get me wrong, my girlfriend is extremely intelligent and successful. Despite her younger age, she makes 9K more than me a year. She’s also finishing a Master’s thesis and considering medical school, but… There is clearly work to be done!
Book smarts aren’t everything, sweetheart!
George Foreman was a heavyweight boxing champion and Olympic gold medalist.
Lesson #1 — Check.
To the next one, and please follow along with our lessons…
God willing, my girlfriend won’t dump me during this process.
She’s not thrilled about this website.
When I explained my plan, she replied with a less-than-enthusiastic and extremely sarcastic comment (as usual).
Science and feminism… Good luck!
I’m sure she’ll learn sports before I learn anything. Place your bets…
That is a great URL she made up, and it’s still available I believe.
The girl is clever. I’ll give her that…
Plus, she’s too supportive and nice (or so she WANTS you to think). She said go ahead and make the website.
I guess it’s probably not her fault. She wasn’t raised as a SportsKnowItAll.
It’s not her, it’s me… Or at least that’s what I should say for relationship-survival purposes.
However, there are some things you just NEED to know. You HAVE to know who George Foreman is… damnit!
Will she become a SportsKnowItAll?
Unlikely… She rarely listens to me.
Why do I try?
——————-
I can resist everything but temptation.
— Mark Twain
(American Writer — 1835 – 1910)
